One year

Tomorrow you turn one.

At this exact time, last year, your Daddy and I were on our way to the hospital to meet you. Only two hours later, you came into this world, screaming, healthy, wrinkly and beautiful. I still remember the way I felt holding you for the first time and I hope it will never fade away.

I can’t believe that a year has passed already. And what a year has it been. You have thought us that a human being can function on far less sleep than the books say. You have made us consider starting a separate savings account dedicated to feeding you once you hit the active teenage years. You have let us witness an amazing bond being developed between siblings even if it has only just begun. You have showed us how much more love we have to give.

We are really enjoying watching you grow but it really is bittersweet. I know that it all goes much too fast. I don’t think I am ready, not that it changes anything. I look forward to witnessing all that you are going to learn and who you are going to become. But I am not ready to let go of your babyhood and anyone who asked me if I have said goodbye to it as your first birthday has been approaching is on my black list. I will hold on to the opinion that babyhood lasts until the second birthday. We will see how I feel about it this time next year. Deep down, I know that no matter how old you are you will always be my baby.

Happy first birthday my sweet boy.

*****

Sutra je tvoj prvi rodjendan.

Prosle godine, tacno u ovo vreme, Daddy i ja smo bili na putu za bolnicu, zeljno iscekujuci da te konacno upoznamo. Dosao si nepuna dva sata kasnije, placuci punim plucima, zdrav, smezuran i predivan. I sad mogu da dozovem osecaj kad sam te prvi put drzala u narucju i nadam se da nikad nece izbledeti.

Potpuno mi je nestvarno da je vec prosla godina dana. I to kakva godina je bila. Naucio si nas da ljudsko bice moze da funkcionise sa pre tebe nepostignutom kolicinom sna. Naveo si nas da dobro razmislimo da otvorimo stedni racun da bi smo mogli da te prehranimo kad udjes u aktivne tinejdzerske godine. Omogucio si nam da budemo svedoci jedinstvene veze koja se radja izmedju brata i sestre. I pokazao si nam koliko jos ljubavi imamo da damo.

Gledati te kako rastes i menjas se je fantasticno, ali istovremeno i pomalo tuzno.  Znam da sve jako brzo prolazi i ne znam da li sam spremna. Naravno da jedva cekam da uzivam u tvom odrastanju i da gledam kako postajes ti. Ali nisam spremna da se pomirim sa tim da vise nisi beba, i svi oni koji su me to pitali kako se tvoj rodjendan su priblizavao su na mojoj crnoj listi. Odlucila sam da se drzim skole koja uci da je beba beba sve do 2 godine. A onda cu opet razmisliti. Mada vec znam da, koliko god godina budes imao, ti ces uvek biti moja beba.

Srecan ti prvi rodjendan mace moje.


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